Calling all public servants: if you want more cash in your pocket you have to put your arguments effectively. To see how this is done: nobody does this better than our Honourable Members of Parliament.

Doctors, nurses, teachers, and all other public servants - if you want some tips on how to plead for more money you have no better example to follow than our members of parliament. You all may be having your pay and pensions sliced. But remember our poor Parliamentarians too had a chunk taken out of their incomes - when they were stopped from making dodgy and fraudulent expense claims that netted some of them tens of thousands of pounds.

Frustrated at the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority (IPSA) having the cheek to check on their reimbursements, and wanting to get a boost to their incomes from more carelessly doled out expenses, our Members of Parliament produced the following survey of themselves and statistics from their navel-gazing report published in 2011, which aim to show:

a) They reckon they work much harder than MPs from previous years, citing the number of pages of legislation, the number of meetings, number of reports, and the number of questions asked. They skate over the probable reason of the increase - computers and word processors spewing out padded verbiage that 30 years ago had to be laboriously produced by hand.
b) IPSA, the people who control their expenses really don't understand what they do, and why they really do need moats and duck houses.
c) We Ripped-off Britons really don't appreciate how lucky we are to have them, and they are cheap at twice the price, and they are really high calibre people, and we should be grateful, and... (I think you get the message)

In short, while the rest of the country's public servants are required to accept cuts to pay and pensions for the sake of the nation, the MPs want IPSA to get out of the way and hand the public purse back to the Honourable Members.

Questions in the survey include:

4. Do you agree with the following statement? IPSA's expenses system is adversely affecting MPs' family lives.	Response %	Response count
Strongly agree	41.0	84
Agree	36.6	75
Neither agree nor disagree	16.1	33
Disagree	4.4	9
Strongly disagree	2.0	4
answered question		205

5. Do you agree with the following statement? IPSA understands what I do in my role as an MP.	Response %	Response count
Strongly agree	1.0	2
Agree	3.4	7
Neither agree nor disagree	8.7	18
Disagree	34.0	70
Strongly disagree	52.9	109
answered question		206

Annex 2

Statistical information on the workload of MPs

Number of electors/people per MP 1922-2010

Source: Railings and Thrasher, British Electoral Facts: 1832-2006 (2007), pp 88-92.
House of Commons Library data.
Office for National Statistics population data.
B R Mitchell, British Historical Statistics (1988), pp 13-14.

Pages of legislation (Public and General Acts and Statutory Instruments)

Source: Parliamentary Trends: Statistics about Parliament, House of Commons Library Research Paper 09/69, 12 August 2009, Table 2.

Select Committee meetings per sitting day

Liaison Committee, Second Report of 2009-10, HC 426, The Work of Committees in 2008-09; First Report of 2008-09, HC 291,The Work of Committees in 2007-08; and Sessional Returns for 1985-86 to 1996-97.

Select Committee reports per sitting day

Liaison Committee, Second Report of Session 2009-10, HC 426, The Work of Committees in 2008-09; First Report of Session 2008-09, HC 291,The Work of Committees in 2007-08; and Sessional Returns for 1985-86 to 1996-97.

Written Parliamentary Questions per sitting day 

Parliamentary Trends: Statistics about Parliament, House of Commons Library Research Paper 09/69, 12 August 2009, Table 2; and Sessional Returns for 1987-88 to 1989-90.

Annex 1 Survey by the Committee of MPs' views on the operation of the Parliamentary Standards Act 2009 206 Members completed the survey between 30 November and 6 December 2011. 1. When did you enter the House?    Response %   Response count   2010 or later   38.8   80    before 2010   61.2   126    answered question       206    2. Do you agree with the following statement? The current IPSA Board offers MPs effective support in carrying out their parliamentary duties.    Response %   Response count   Strongly agree   1.0   2    Agree   6.3    13   Neither agree nor disagree    11.7   24    Disagree   48.1    99   Strongly disagree    33.0   68    answered question       206    3. Do you agree with the following statement? Independent regulation of the expenses system is important to improve public confidence in Parliament.    Response %   Response count   Strongly agree   34.1   70    Agree   43.4   89  Neither agree nor disagree   15.1  31   Disagree  6.8   14  Strongly disagree   0.5  1   answered question   205   4. Do you agree with the following statement? IPSA's expenses system is adversely affecting MPs' family lives.   Response %  Response count  Strongly agree  41.0  84   Agree  36.6   75  Neither agree nor disagree   16.1  33   Disagree  4.4   9  Strongly disagree   2.0  4   answered question   205   5. Do you agree with the following statement? IPSA understands what I do in my role as an MP.   Response %  Response count  Strongly agree  1.0  2   Agree  3.4   7  Neither agree nor disagree   8.7  18   Disagree  34.0   70  Strongly disagree   52.9  109   answered question   206   6. Do you agree with the following statement? IPSA should publish the receipts it receives in support of claims.   Response %  Response count  Strongly agree  6.9  14   Agree  24.0   49  Neither agree nor disagree   29.4  60   Disagree  26.5   54  Strongly disagree   13.2  27   answered question   204   7 Do you agree with the following statement? IPSA was right to introduce more direct payments to suppliers.   Response %  Response count  Strongly agree  59.3  121   Agree  35.8   73  Neither agree nor disagree   3.9  8   Disagree  0.5   1  Strongly disagree   0.5  1   answered question   204   8. Do you agree with the following statement? The time taken for MPs and their staff to submit claims to IPSA is such a burden that it hinders them from doing their job.   Response %  Response count  Strongly agree  52.7  106   Agree  32.3   65  Neither agree nor disagree   7.5  15   Disagree  5.5   11  Strongly disagree   2.0  4   answered question   201   9. Do you agree with the following statement? Since June 2011, I have noticed a significant decrease in the amount of time my staff and I spend dealing with expenses.   Response %  Response count  Strongly agree  0.5  1   Agree  17.6   36  Neither agree nor disagree   23.9  49   Disagree  39.0   80  Strongly disagree   19.0  39   answered question   205   10. Do you agree with the following statement? The extension of the travel card represents an improvement to the system.   Response %  Response count  Strongly agree  21.5%  44   Agree  46.3%   95  Neither agree nor disagree   26.3%  54   Disagree  5.4%   11  Strongly disagree   0.5%  1   answered question   205   11. In the last six months, can you estimate   0  1-2   3-5  6-10   More than 10  I don't submit claims  Response count  on how many occasions you have received inconsistent advice from IPSA?   15.8% (32)  32.2% (65)   35.6% (72)  8.4% (17)   4.5% (9)  3.5% (7)  202   on how many occasions IPSA has lost paperwork that you submitted in support of a claim?   34.2% (69)  39.6% (80)   17.3% (35)  5.0% (10)   1.0% (2)  3.0% (6)  202   on how many occasions you received particularly helpful service from IPSA staff in relation to the processing of expenses claims?   23.6% (48)  42.4% (86)   22.2% (45)  4.4% (9)   4.9% (10)  2.5% (5)  203   how many of your claims have not been processed and paid by IPSA within their target of 12 working days?   3.1% (6)  13.4% (26)  20.1% (39)   20.1% (39)  39.2% (76)   4.1% (8)  194  how many of your inquiries to IPSA by email were not responded to within their target of 5 working days?   29.6% (56)  25.9% (49)   21.2% (40)  9.0% (17)   9.5% (18)  4.8% (9)  189   answered question   204   12. Since June 2011, how useful have you found the advice provided by IPSA?   Very useful  Fairly useful  Not very useful   Not at all useful   No opinion  I haven't contacted IPSA   Response count  (a) by telephone   9.9% (20)   48.0% (97)  17.3% (35)   13.9% (28)  3.0% (6)   7.9% (16)  202  (b) in writing  2.0% (4)  16.2% (32)   22.3% (44)  13.7% (27)   12.2% (24)  33.5% (66)   197  (c) by email  3.0% (6)  38.7% (77)   24.1% (48)  16.6% (33)   6.5% (13)   11.1% (22)  199   (d) in person  9.9% (19)  13.6% (26)  3.1% (6)   4.7% (9)  15.7% (30)  52.9% (101)   191  answered question   203   13. How easy or difficult have you found it to submit your most recent claims?   Response %  Response count  Very easy  2.5   5  Fairly easy  40.4  82   Fairly difficult   40.4  82   Very difficult  12.8  26   No opinion  3.9   8  answered question   203   14. In the last 6 months, have there been items of expenditure (for accommodation, utility bills, travel, subsistence, refreshments for constituents, office and staff costs etc) for which you have not claimed even though you were entitled to reimbursement?   Response %  Response count  No, I've claimed for everything for which I am entitled to reimbursement   7.4  15   Yes, totalling less than £1,000   55.7  113   Yes, totalling between £1,000 and £5,000   26.1  53   Yes, totalling over £5,000   10.8  22   answered question   203   15. What are your main reasons for not submitting legitimate claims? (rate the importance of each reason)   Very important  Quite important  Not very important  Not applicable, I submit all legitimate claims   Rating average  Response count  It takes too much time   34.4% (63)   43.7% (80)  15.8% (29)  6.0% (11)   1.93  183   The submission system is too complicated  32.8% (59)   43.9% (79)  18.3% (33)  5.0% (9)   1.96  180   IPSA won't pre-approve claims   26.8% (44)   28.0% (46)  37.2% (61)  7.9% (13)   2.26  164   I want to protect my reputation by avoiding media coverage   56.4% (101)   25.7% (46)  10.6% (19)  7.3% (13)   1.69  179   It's not worth the trouble submitting small claims   42.8% (80)   40.1% (75)  11.2% (21)  5.9% (11)   1.80  187   answered question   198   MPs know how to play the system. Over the last few decades MPs have a barnstorming record on getting above inflation increases in their allowance. An MP’s allowances in 1975 of £3,200 would have risen by 2007 to £19,367 if RPI inflation had been applied. The actual 2007 figure is £90,505.