Rip-off News round-up. Our pick of the last week's media (Thu 30th August)

Pension companies finally pledge to come clean on hidden fees

The industry admits that it has not given “straight answers” to savers

Millions of savers are being misled by pension fund managers about hidden fees that can almost halve the value of their pensions. The DG of the Association of British Insurers said "The industry has taken too long to recognise the fact that people expect transparency now. They expect to ask a question and get a straight answer. We haven’t been very good at giving that straight answer." TELEGRAPH
("That straight answer will be posted to all our customers some time next year in an unmarked envelope and buried in sheathes of other marketing bullshit, as per usual," he added )

Power NI has announced a 14% cut in electricity bills, the day after SSE announces 9% hike for its customers 
SSE's excuse is that wholesale prices have gone up. Power NI says wholesale prices have come down. How can both be true? BBC NEWS

Deutsche Bank has become the first global bank to  strip staff of bonuses they earned at previous employers
The largest European lender has significantly tightened its bonus rules this year: it will claw back shares given in exchange for stock earned at another bank by newly hired staff. One recruitment expert warned this could make it harder for Deutsche Bank to attract senior talent as they might not be willing to put at risk stock earned at their previous bank. FINANCIAL TIMES
(When asked for his definition of 'talent' the recruiter said "Easy. The ability to lose billions of everyone else's money")

Emergency wealth tax could hamper recovery, Osborne warns
Chancellor responds coolly to Nick Clegg's proposal to impose a time-limited emergency "mansion" tax on Britain's wealthiest. Tory MP Bernard Jenkin rubbished Clegg's attempts to tax the rich more, saying "We've got to be very careful we don't strangle the goose that lays the golden egg." GUARDIAN

(When told that this particular goose had eaten all the corn but hadn't laid any golden eggs in quite a while, Jenkin replied "Well, I can clearly see something coming out its bottom.")

Scientists dispel 'Miserable Monday' myth

We may say we hate Mondays, but research suggests Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays are equally loathed. Professor Arthur Stone says it is the contrast in mood from Sunday to Monday that has led to Mondays being unfairly singled out. 
BBC NEWS
(When asked what really made him happy, Professor Stone said "Devoting my life to the careful measurement of how miserable you all are.")

Easy access savings accounts drop interest rates by 60% 

The interest rates for easy access savings accounts have plunged over the past year and a half. The only way to have more than a pathetically low return is to change your account every year. LOVE MONEY

Unilever to adopt marketing strategies used in developing countries to sell goods in "poverty" Europe
The head of its European business warned that poverty will rise in the region as a result of the debt crisis. In Spain, the company already sells Surf detergent in packages for as few as five washes, while in Greece it now offers mashed potatoes and mayonnaise in small packages, and has created a low-cost brand for basic goods such as tea and olive oil. TELEGRAPH

Christmas comes early as Asda opens Santa's grottos in August

Supermarket chain says it is trying to encourage people to start saving for the festive season. Staff dressed as elves have been handing out Christmas savings cards. But exasperated critics say the mystery and magic of Christmas should be kept for December. GUARDIAN

("The whole country has been living in a land of make-believe for four years already. I don't see what the problem is," said ASDA)